


In Her Eyes I See You

by lucy_in_the_sky



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 23:03:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7820680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucy_in_the_sky/pseuds/lucy_in_the_sky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Alex sat on the cold, plastic toilet seat in his and John’s bathroom, he was only thinking one thing; his period was three weeks late. </p><p>"Calm down, breathe,” he said to himself, willing his heart rate to slow down. They had been so careful, always using protection, well, almost always. But it was one time almost five weeks ago. Alex was definitely not pregnant. Maybe. . .</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my little creation :) I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Just a side note the location is in New York, the boys going to NYU, but that's not really relevant. Okay, thanks for reading!!!

As Alex sat on the cold, plastic toilet seat in his and John’s bathroom, he was only thinking one thing; his period was three weeks late. 

"Calm down, breathe,” he said to himself, willing his heart rate to slow down. They had been so careful, always using protection, well, almost always. But it was one time almost five weeks ago. Alex was definitely not pregnant. Maybe. . .

Deciding to not take any chances, he pulled himself out of his stupor and headed to the pharmacy by his and John’s small apartment. He located the pregnancy tests and bought a couple, leaving as quickly as possible, purposefully ignoring the looks from fellow store-goers as he purchased the items. His thoughts raced as he sped home and climbed the stairs to their door. He was starting hormone treatment in four short months, he couldn’t be pregnant. John was busy in nursing school and a part-time job on the side, he could not be pregnant. Both boys were only twenty years old and still in college, there was no way he could be pregnant. Jon’s father would be so angry, as well as Alex’s foster family, he definitely wasn’t pregnant. Although it made sense to him now. . .all the time’s he’d had to race out of class to throw up in a nearby bathroom. The way he constantly craved certain foods. The mood swings, more heightened than regular. Uh oh, he was pregnant. 

"Stop thinking like that!" He silently cursed at himself as he made his way back into the small bathroom. Well, he thought, there’s only one way to find out. 

He sat down with one of the three tests and followed the instruction on the side of the box. When he was finished, he waited nervously, his foot tapping out a staccato beat on the linoleum floor. After a couple minutes, he looked back down at the stick in his hands and felt all blood drain from his face. There was a tiny plus on the end. 

No. No no no no no! It has to be wrong! He quickly took another test and waited until he saw another tiny plus sign being etched in pink. He opened the last test and silently prayed to any God who’ll listen that, for some reason, this one would be negative. Unfortunately, Alex did’t have such a lucky past, and it was showing up again as a tiny plus sign mockingly stared up at him. 

He felt the stick fall to the floor as he buried his hands in his arms, elbows on his shaking knees. How could he have let this happen? All plans for his full gender transfer now had to be halted. And he was so close. Tears started falling down his cheeks and his mind continued to wander. He hadn’t even realized John was home until he heard his name being called from outside the bathroom door. 

“Alexander?” He heard a timid voice call. “Babe, I’ve said your name, like, five times. Are you ok?” John began to push at the door, walking in to find Alex curled up in a tight ball on the turtle rug by the tub. 

“Alex, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He cooed, reaching down and sitting next to his shaking boyfriend. He protectively rubbed a hand in circles on his back, still unaware of the actual problem. That was the exact moment he noticed the three pink and white sticks lying around his boyfriend’s slight frame. His breath hitched as he realized what they meant.

“Alex,” his voice dripping with worry. “Baby, are you. . .are y-you?”

He couldn’t finish the question. Alex finally looked up at him, his big brown eyes wet with tears and an apology forming on his lips. 

“I’m so sorry, John! I’m pregnant! I’m so sorry! I don’t know how this could have happened. What do we do?” He cried out in between sobs. 

John reached down and pulled his boyfriend up with him, so they were both standing. He grabbed his chin in his hand and used it to make Alex look at him. 

“Baby girl, don’t cry! This is a good thing!” 

A good thing? Alex thought. 

Alex look at him curiously. “It’s kind of our last chance,” John continued with a smile sneaking itself onto lips. “its our last chance to have a biological kid of both of ours before your transfer.” he explained. “Imagine. . .a little baby girl or boy with your brains and charm,”

“Your curls and smile,” Alex added. 

“Exactly! Alex, there is no one I’d rather raise a kid with. I love you so much and even though this is way sooner than I’d imagined, I think we can do it.” He said with the utmost sincerity. 

“You really think?” Alex asked, a timid smile dancing on his lips and a gleam in his eye. 

“Absolutely,” John answered before cupping Alex’s face in his hands and pulling his lips his own in a sweet and gentle kiss, holding Alex as if delicate art, moments from shattering. His hands moved to Alex’s lower belly, over the spot where their child was starting to grow. He broke out in a grin as he imagined fathering a kid with Alex. A single tear fell down his freckled face and Alex was quick to wipe it with his sleeve. 

“You sure, baby?” Alex asked, thinking the tears were out of sadness and regret. 

“100%.” John said firmly, “If you are ok with it, I’d love to raise a kid with you.”

“Then why the tears, hon?”

“I’m just picturing lazy Saturday mornings with a little kid in our arms, or things like picnics and trips to that children’s museum by the park, you know, domestic shit that all three of us can do together,” Alex smiled as he pictured the things John said. 

“Let’s do it then,”

“Really?”

“Really.”

John kept rubbing the spot right above Alex's waistband and soon enough, his boyfriend's hand joined his. Both boys started tearing up at the thought of a child growing inside of the smaller man and John suddenly burst out, 

“Alex, we're gonna be dads!" 

Alex looked up as he said it, and beamed at his boyfriend. 

"We're gonna be dads," he parroted before raising his lips to meet John's in a kiss full of love and commitment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the weeks turned to months, Alex's stomach grew progressively bigger due to his new monstrous appetite,"Hey, I'm eating for two now!”, and the baby growing inside him.

As the weeks turned to months, Alex's stomach grew progressively bigger due to his new monstrous appetite,"Hey, I'm eating for two now!”, and the baby growing inside him. Although they were in a good place now, financially and mentally, things started out kind of rocky. Alex was right to think that John's dad would would be furious, and he immediately removed himself from the boys lives. On the other hand, Alex's foster family, the Washingtons, were immensely supportive. They promised to help out in any way they could and were in complete agreement that the boys were ready to start their family. All of Alex's professors were very understanding (except for Lee, but after threats from John, he agreed to let Alex do work from their off campus apartment). John was extremely helpful, appeasing Alex's weird cravings and crazy mood swings and constantly proving how considerate and patient he could be. 

Every night, the boys would fall asleep on their queen sized bed after saying goodnight to their baby. They still didn't know the baby’s gender, but had an appointment set up in several weeks for that exact purpose. When the date came, the boys drove to the doctors and waited in the sterile smelling waiting room. John gingerly rubbed the hand not holding Alex's over the bump on his boyfriends stomach. 

“You nervous?” he asked a dazed looking Alex. 

“Kinda,” he said, head turning to look at his boyfriend, “not about the gender though,”

John knew exactly what he meant. Both boys were still so young and the months seemed to be flying past them. In only a five short months, their lives had changed, and both were more than a little scared. 

“I get you baby girl,” John comforted, “It’s scary, all of it, but I love you and you love me and there are so many people who love both of us, and we’re gonna be fine. I promise you that.”

Alex smiled tersely at his boyfriend, still not fully comforted by his kind words. John sensed this and brought up a new subject to take Alex’s mind off one unknown to another. 

“So what do you think it will be?” he asked, smiling. 

“Huh?”

“The gender, I mean?”

“Oh. . .um i’m not sure,” Alex thought about it for a second before answering, “I hope it’s a boy, though”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“Well, you’re a boy,” he began explaining, “and you’re super gay so you don’t really know much about, you know, the female body and mind,”

“Hey!” he poked Alex in the side before continuing, "Gimme some credit, my father made me date plenty of girls before I finally came out to him!”

“Shh I know, I know, but still.” Alex smiled playfully at his boyfriend before continuing, “Anyways, we’re both guys and frankly have little to no knowledge about girl stuff, even though I’m, you know, trans.”

John laughed in the way Alexander loved, the way that sounded so genuine and made his eyes crinkle and freckles dance on tan cheeks. 

“I guess you’re right, but I could picture us with a little girl, too”

He grabbed Alex’s hands and started to relay his fantasies about fathering a little girl, Alex sighing into his side as he went on.

“Yeah, that’d be pretty sweet, too” Alexander agreed. 

“I guess we’ll just wait and see and be happy with whatever gender they are,” 

“Okay,” Alex breathed contently right as a nurse in bright yellow scrubs walked into the waiting room. 

“Alexandra Hamilton?” She called out, reading off a clip board. 

“It’s Alexander,” John snapped before Alex could even process the misgendering. 

“Oh, my apologies, sir,” The nurse said as she turned a dark shade of red. “Dr. Reynolds can see you now.”

The boys eagerly followed the nurse back to a small room and Alex laid down in an uncomfortable chair, fiddling his hands with anticipation.

John reached out and grabbed both of his boyfriends hands in his. 

“It’s gonna be fine, baby, just an ultrasound,”

Alex sighed as he responded, “I know, I just hate doctors,”

“Yeah, I get it,” John replied while rubbing soothing circles into Alexander’s hands. 

Doctor Reynolds entered the tiny room and after a brief Hello, began the ultrasound. 

As she glided the transducer across the bump on Alex’s midsection, as image of their child appeared on the tiny screen. 

“Oh, Alex,” John squeezed Alexander’s hands as tears formed in his eyes. That’s their child. They made that. It all of a sudden hit him how real this all was. 

“Baby, we made that.” Alex said to John, echoing his very thoughts. 

The boys shared a look full of pride as the Doctor began to speak to them. 

“All right, boys, it looks like your baby is a healthy little girl!”

John looked down at Alex, tears making kaleidoscopes in his brown eyes. 

“Our little girl,” he said to Alex, “that’s our little girl,”

Alex pulled John down for a hard kiss as he began to laugh. Doctor Reynolds finished up quickly and cleaned up Alex, dismissing the boys after she was done. 

John and Alex left the doctor’s office hand in hand, gleefully chatting about their baby girl. Things were going great, neither could wait for the baby, and they knew that whatever life threw at them that they could handle it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The call came just as John's Advanced Biology class was finishing up. He was packing up his things as his phone chimed the peppy marimba tune.

The call came just as John's Advanced Biology class was finishing up. He was packing up his things as his phone chimed the peppy marimba tune. 

"Hey, baby girl," 

John waited for Alex's response but none came. 

"Alex, you there?" 

He waited a beat before a voice took a shaky breath on the other line. 

"Uhm, John?" Alex said with a wince. 

"Baby, what's wrong?" John's mind started frantically trying to figure out what was happening. 

"John, uhm, the baby's coming,"

John almost dropped his phone out of sheer shock before he calmed down enough to reply,

"Alex, okay baby, okay, I'm coming, just hang tight, I'm coming," 

He stopped rambling enough to grab his backpack and jet out of the lecture hall, ignoring the weird looks from peers as he raced by. He decided it'd be faster to just run the two blocks to their off campus apartment, so John took off, arranging an Uber driver to pick the boys up from the apartment. 

Meanwhile, Alexander was cooped up in their bed, trying to calm his breathing down like he'd been taught in his pregnancy classes. He now had a new found respect for people who'd given birth cause this way by far the most pain he'd ever been in. He hung up with John just as his contraction finished and braced himself for the next one. Sure enough, five and a half minutes later, another one came. Just as the pain came, the bedroom door flew open and John rushed to Alex's side, offering any support he could. 

John heart broke as he barged into their bedroom to see Alex curled in on himself in pain, eyes clenched, fists balled, teeth chattering. He raced over and started to speak soothing words to Alexander as he rubbed small circles into his back and clenched hands. After a short time, Alex started to uncurl, his heart rate slowing down and eyes fluttering open to look at John. 

"Hi, baby," John whispered to the exhausted looking man. 

"Hey," Alex tiredly responded. 

Just then, John's phone chimed with the notification that the Uber driver was outside their building. 

The boys made their way down and into the car. Before long, they were rushing into the hospital, nurses hurrying to help Alex into a wheelchair and down into a room. 

A doctor arrived shortly and started to asses Alexander's condition. Not before long, he stated that the baby should be coming in ten short minutes. John settled into the chair beside Alex, preparing himself to be the supportive boyfriend Alex needed. 

Only eleven minutes later, the doc gave orders for Alex to start pushing, everyone preparing for the baby. Then, at 3:47 and fifty one seconds, out came Frances Laurens-Hamilton, a healthy seven pound nine ounce baby girl. 

Alexander's sobs were almost as loud as Frances' as she was handed off to him. Not that John was judging cause he also had tears streaking down his tan cheeks as he watched the girl they had made. 

"John we did it," Alex looked up at his boyfriend, nothing but love on his face. Well, love and sheer exhaustion, but he'd just given birth you can't blame him. 

"Look at her," John whispered to Alexander, "she's the prettiest thing I've ever seen." 

Alex handed Frances to John, watching as John quietly promised the small girl to always protect her, love her, and make her the happiest girl alive. John looked back down at Alex and he sat down beside him. In that moment, they both knew they'd do anything and everything for this baby. They were finally a family.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six years later in the Laurens-Hamilton household.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my little fic <3 I hope you enjoy this last chapter!

"Frances! Don't rub cake on your brother's head!" 

John leaned over the table to try and stop the birthday girl from cleaning off her cake-covered hands on her two year old brother. 

Alex laughed to himself cause he never thought he'd hear John say something like that. 

Frances looked back at John, then Alex, then John again before saying,

"But Papa thinks it's funny," 

At this, John directed his reprimanding glare at his husband rather than his six year old. In his dad voice he responded, 

"No, Papa does not think that you rubbing chocolate cake on Phillip's head is funny. Papa is laughing because he thought of a joke Mr. Lafayette told him at work today. Isn't that right Papa?" 

Alex did his best to try and hide his grin before saying to them,

"Of course, Fran, Daddy's right. Mr. Lafayette is a really funny man," 

Despite his poor performance, the six year old believed him and apologized before running to the kitchen to clean her dirty hands. 

Right as she left the room, Alex cracked up. John couldn't help the little giggles that escaped his stern dad facade. 

John gave in to it as he picked up Phillip and began to wipe off the cake on his curly hair. He laughed as Alex came up behind him and wrapped his arms around John's waist. When Phillip was decently clean, John turned in Alexander's grip and kissed him on the cheek. Then the nose. Then the forehead. Then chin. He continued to pepper sweet kisses on his husbands face until they heard a little voice exclaim,

"Eww Daddy! Don't kiss Papa that's disgusting!" 

The fathers laughed as they separated and made room for little Frances to plant herself between their legs, attempting to hug both of them despite the difference in height. 

John and Alex both bent down to capture their daughter in a real hug, Phillip squealing with joy as he reached out for his sister. John looked down at his two kids, then across at his husband. This was not how he imagined his life would be at 26. Happily married to the love of his life with a beautiful daughter and spirited son. If you told seventeen year old John this would be his life, he would have laughed in your face because it all seemed too perfect. Yet here he was, squatting in his kitchen, holding his two year old in his arms while his six year old talks to him. Across from the most handsome, brave and loving man in the world. A man whom he gets to call his husband. 

Alex looks away from his adorable kids to gaze up at John, who's eyes were wet with tears. He reached across to wipe his husband's eyes. John leaned into his touch, smiling to himself as his eyes closed. 

"What are you thinking 'bout babe?" 

"I'm just so lucky to be here to now. I'm out of the closet, I married my best friend, I have the two most amazing kids in the world. I am so lucky, Alexander," 

Alex smiled at this and leaned over to kiss John on the mouth.

"I know what you mean, baby," 

John opened his eyes and smiled at his beautiful family, overcome with love for the three amazing people surrounding him. 

"I love you all so much," John said. 

Frances looked up at him and crawled into his lap, Alex taking Phillip to give Frances more room. She hugged her Daddy and kissed his cheek. 

"We love you too, Daddy," 

"We love Dada!" Phillip exclaimed, bouncing on Alex's knee. 

Alex laughed and kissed his son as he responded,

"Yeah, we all love Daddy," 

"And Papa!" Frances announced from John's lap. 

"And Papa," Phillip parroted. 

John giggled and kissed each of kids kids before sweetly kissing his husband. 

"And Papa," he whispered against Alexander's lips as they both smiled. 

The journey to get where they are now was not easy by any means, but they had made it. They fought their battles and in the end, won the war. The future looked so bright from the kitchen tiles as John and Alex held on to each other and their amazing children. And both knew that no matter what life threw at them, they would always have this, their happy little family, right by their side.


End file.
